The Dos and Don'ts of Making Friends in College
As much as college life can be stressful, it's also a place where you can meet thousands of people from all across the world. Your peers might just become your lifelong best friends. But if you're shy or introverted, how do you take that first step? Don't fret—we've got you. Here are 10 ways to meet your new besties at college—and 10 things to avoid doing.
1. Join a Club
The best way to make friends who have similar interests and hobbies is to join a club. During the initial few months of college, scope out what's on offer by attending Clubs Day. You'll be able to meet with some members and see if the club and the people are a right fit.
2. Study in Social Spaces
We get it—this might be a challenge if you're an introvert, but studying in public, social spaces gives you more opportunities to chat with strangers. Who knows? Maybe you'll run into a classmate who you can then do your assignments with.
3. Smile & Be Kind
To make friends, it pays well to be kind. And sometimes, that can be as simple as giving everyone you meet a warm smile. People will naturally gravitate toward those who give off a positive, radiant energy, so that's what you want to channel.
4. Talk to Your Classmates
As daunting as it might sound to strike up a conversation with someone you've never talked to before, don't think of it as you needing to be best friends with this person right away. Start small, like asking a classmate about a due date or an assignment. Once you get the ball rolling, introduce yourself and let things flow naturally.
5. Join Intramural Sports
Enjoy athletics? Join intramural sports! You can stay active and participate in a sport you like, all while making new friends. Plus, there's something for everybody, whether it's swimming, soccer, volleyball, badminton, or pickleball.
6. Attend Campus Events
Whether it's an upcoming job fair or a festival, attending campus events offers ample opportunities to network, make new connections, and befriend others. You can even sign up to volunteer—allowing you to meet more people in the process (and get more involved with your school)!
7. Go to Your Classes
If you're not present, no one's going to know who you are. So, go to your classes. Even though first-year lectures are often so overcrowded you won't remember all your classmates, you can try sitting at the same spot every time to familiarize yourself with others doing the same.
8. Take Initiative
The thing is, you're likely not the only one who's nervous about befriending others and making the first move. But if everyone is waiting for someone else to take initiative, you'll probably all end up staying strangers. Don't let your nerves stop you—smile, say hi, and introduce yourself. If you want to keep in contact, ask for their number or social media handles.
9. Take Advantage of Dorms
If you live on campus, take advantage of it. Your new best friend could be just across the hall from you or in the same building. Leave your room door open so that others feel welcome to come in and join you. And in the same way, go out and ask to study with others in their rooms.
10. Be Yourself
At the end of the day, the most important thing to keep in mind when making new friends is to be yourself. Be genuine. Be authentic. Be kind, positive, and radiate that energy. Don't pretend to be someone you're not just because you think that's what others want to see.
Now that we've covered some ways to make new friends at college, what about what not to do? Let's take a look at 10 things you should avoid doing—or you might risk staying alone.
1. Always Say No
If you always say no when others invite you to events and social outings, you lose that opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. Of course, college can be overwhelming, so it's understandable that you just don't have the time when you have other commitments. But you should aim for a balance and still allow yourself to have fun occasionally.
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2. Be Rude
If you don't want to make friends, be rude. No one's going to want to talk to someone disrespectful or mean, after all. Plus, since there are certain boundaries you can't cross immediately, if you make demeaning "jokes" that are only funny to you, there's a good chance people won't want to be friends with you.
3. Be Closed Off
Similarly, being closed off will discourage others from trying to befriend you. This is different from being shy; closing yourself off means you pretend like other people don't exist. That kind of energy won't resonate well with others and they'll just leave you alone, expecting that's what you want.
4. Don't Smile
We understand that it's not always easy to smile at strangers, but if you never smile, people aren't going to know whether you want to be friends or not. They may, again, assume that you don't want to talk to people and would rather keep to yourself.
5. Don't Be Picky & Choosy
Don't be shallow and "choose" your friends. Of course, it's one thing to want to connect with the right people who will give you the same positive, supportive energy back, but it's another to only befriend certain people and be rude to those who don't fit your criteria.
6. Don't Stay in Your Comfort Zone
College can feel extremely overwhelming, especially in your first year. But it's also a time of change—and that means stepping outside of your comfort zone. Even if making friends seems scary initially, challenge yourself. After all, if you always stick with the things you know, you'll never discover what other gems are out there.
7. Hang Out Alone
If you always prefer to hang out alone and not in public or social spaces where you can chat with others, you'll only ever stay alone. Instead of doing everything yourself, try including others in your circle by starting small, such as inviting your classmates to join you for lunch if you all have the same break.
8. Go Home Right Away or Stay in Your Dorm
If you're introverted, you might prefer to stay cooped up in your dorm or to go straight home after class, but over time this habit will isolate you. Try to stick around after your last class of the day to study in communal spaces. This may help you better connect with your peers.
9. Skip Classes
Again, if you want to make friends, you need to be present. If you're always skipping your classes, your peers are not going to know who you are. As you get further into the semester, you might even realize that others have already made their own friend groups while you're still on your own, all because you rarely show up to lectures.
10. Don't Practice Personal Hygiene
This is a no-brainer: if you don't practice basic personal hygiene, people are probably... not going to want to come near you. We get being so busy you might forget to shower sometimes, but make it a habit and you'll drive potential friends away, not close.
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